Apology Not Accepted.

After 8 years of putting up with an incompetent PAP government, the PM finally came out and apologized to singaporeans. Sorry, but apology not accepted. To me, its too little too late. After years of being dismissed as champion complainers, as daft, complacent, with our concerns brushed aside as nothing more than noise, of being ignored, patronized and belittled, this apology comes a little too late.

Maybe it has finally dawned on this cocooned insulated man, that singaporeans might have had it with him and his highly compensated, yet mightily incompetent ministers. How this will translate into actual election results still remains to be seen. But to me, the apology no longer matters because I no longer care. Too many years of being talked down to will do that to you.

MM Lee did not issue a genuine apology for once again putting into question the loyalty and commitment of malay singaporeans.

Wee Siew Kim did not issue a genuine apology when his daughter caused a huge uproar with her elitist insensitive remarks.

Charles Chong did not issue a genuine apology when he branded us as lesser mortals.

Wong Kan Seng did not issue a genuine apology when his incompetency allowed Mas Selamat to escape.

Yaacob Ibrahim did not apologized for the series of floodings that occurred earlier in the year.

Mah Bow Tan hasn’t even acknowledged the clusterfuck this is our public housing policy.

Vivian Balakrishnan hasn’t apologized for overspending on YOG.

And what about the losses incurred by our government’s investment in Shincorp, ABC Learning, Alliance Bank, UBS, Citibank, Stuy Town etc.

Who apologized for allowing our public transport system to degrade into a daily sardine can crush?

And what about the injustice done to the 22 detainees accused of the Marxist Conspiracy in 1987.

Yet now, just because PM Lee has apologized I am supposed to accept it at face value and move on?

“We never give up. We are like the little frog. We are deaf to all these criticisms.”- Lee Swee Say

“How many of you followed the latest tragic events in Japan with the tsunami…and then put into context our floods in Singapore against that kind of disaster. I am not saying we shouldn’t do anything about the flood. But the amount of noise you made with just sporadic flood compared to the Japanese.” – Goh Chok Tong

The Fear Factor Part 1.

Singaporeans live their entire lives in fear. Whether real or imagined, conscious or subconscious, we live our entire lives in fear. In fact fear is so much a part of our lives most don’t even know what it is to live their lives without fear. It has been ingrained in us, embedded so deeply within our psyche we don’t even know what it feels like to live without it.

Fear is so much a part of our lives, we actually think its normal to live this way.

That is why singaporeans are always at the top of the poll whenever it comes to stress, unhappiness and suicide rates. Collectively we are probably one of the unhappiest and most stressed out bunch of people on earth. Which if you look at it, is quite contradictory in the face of so much material wealth, comfort and economic development. It is no strange coincidence that we have one of the lowest fertility rate in the world. After all why would anyone chose to procreate in an environment of constant fear. Subconsciously fear already inhibits your desire to bring the next generation into the world

Have you ever wondered why?

But before I answer that question, take a moment to think about the fear that pervades your daily life because fear has become so pervasive within our society we probably don’t even give much thought to it.

Most singaporeans living in fear don’t even know they are living in fear.

From the moment you are born, your parents already live in fear for your future. The government brings in many kids from china and india to compete with local kids in the education arena. All in the name of sticking the spurs in our hides. Before the kids even know any better, the parents are already living in the fear that their kids will fall behind in our education system because once you do, there will be no reprieve no redemption. To be consigned to the lower rungs of the education system is  be consigned to a lifetime of struggle and servitude.

Eventually that fear infects the mind of the kids as well. This is social darwinism at its very worse- the constant need to compete and outdo. Learning no longer becomes a joy when it becomes a do or die situation- where the sole objective is to collect more As than the next guy. And when you do that, its your natural curiosity that suffers as learning is no longer for learning sake, rather learning becomes a means for you to climb the social hierarchy. You know something is wrong when children kill themselves because they didn’t score enough As.

And it only gets worse when you leave the education system and enters the working world. Now it’s a constant fear of losing your job to cheaper foreign workers. And if you haven’t found yourself a job, then it’s a fear of not finding one. And in the event that you’ve found one, then it’s the fear of not finding one that is commensurate with your education levels or one that offers no career advancement.

Should you find yourself a partner, now the fear becomes one of having the means to settle down, get married and buying a house. The fear becomes one of having enough at the end of the month to pay off your bills and loans.

What a crushing fear it must be to live under the yoke of a 30 year housing loan- no thanks to the PAP and Mah Bow Tan. What a crushing fear it must be to have a 30 year loan hanging over your head, working in an economy that have went through 3 recessions and retrenchment cycle in 10 years.

What a crushing fear it must be to live in a society with no social safety net where losing your job, can mean losing all that you’ve worked for.

Fear of failure is real in singapore because we don’t accept failure here and failing once can mean never ever having a second chance at life again.

So 10-15 year into your housing loan, now it’s the fear of finding yourself made redundant because your boss has just found himself a younger, cheaper foreign alternative to you. Now it’s the fear of finding yourself being made redundant in an economy where the supply of younger, cheaper foreign labor is limitless.

Worse of all, all the fear and stress is not doing your health any favors. Now the fear of losing your health becomes more pervasive than ever. A serious illness in singapore will have  serious financial repercussions for your family and you.

We are one of the few developed countries in this world that have no universal healthcare plans. Rather than spend on us, our PAP government prefers to spend money on promoting singapore as a healthcare hub to attract wealthy patients from around the world and in the process we as citizens are relegated to second class patients in our own healthcare system. Things have gotten so bad, our ministers are actually asking us to go to another country for our healthcare needs if we can’t afford it.

Is it any wonder that more singaporeans has given up on procreation. Its not to cheap to bring up kids in singapore and if you do, deep down you know you are just starting the cycle of fear all over again for the next unfortunate generation.

Sometimes Life Is Grand.

(what’s that weird stringy substance growing on my head? Oh yeah hair, sometimes I forget.)

I met up with my pre-u classmates the other day and looking back it amazes me just how much our lives have diverged over the last 2 decades. I mean, each one of us are working in a different industry and I don’t think there’s 2 person who is even working in the same kind of job.

Just among the few of us, there’s an engineer, an army officer, a police officer, a manager, a business man, a private banker and a ne’er-do-well CG artist.

Who would’ve thought?

We might be the last generation to still have a chance of succeeding even if we didn’t do all that well in the singapore education system. Rejected by JCs and the polys, consigned to a somewhat obscured if not second rate pre-u center, most people probably would’ve have written us off as stupid losers.

Our pre-u was so obscure, we only had enough enrollees to make up one class per cohort.

Yet 20 odd years later, every one of us are successful in his own right. I guess before the PAP opened the floodgates and exposed everyone to the relentless death march of unfettered economic competition and social darwinism, you could still make it in life, if you worked hard and smart. These days I am not so sure anymore.

Academically, as a class we weren’t all that hardworking. More interested in playing volleyball and hanging out, we once made our science teacher so angry after a physics test, the dude actually cried. I remember a guy scored half upon hundred and was quite proud of the feat I might add. And after our A levels, I think only 2 person actually have results good enough to make it to the local.

I wasn’t one of the two.

No, my interest and mind laid somewhere else. Somewhere probably not even on this earth.

All through my school days, while the teacher is lecturing, I was too busy filling the margins and every available corner of my textbooks with doodles and cartoons. Whatever cartoon or tv show was playing at the time, my textbook would be filled to the brim with it.I may have looked like I was furiously taking notes when in fact I was daydreaming and making shit up in my mind and drawing it on my textbooks.

When Superfriends was playing, I would be drawing Superman, Batman and Wonderwoman.

No Aquaman though- I always thought he sucked.

When the old school Battlestar Galactica with the guy Starbuck was playing on tv I would be drawing spaceships and space battles.

And when its showed Knight Rider, I would be drawing talking cars. At that age, I actually thought The Hoff was cool.

Anyway, never did I imagine one day that doing this shit would become my job which in a sense is not even a job. I actually get paid for doing shit that I used to do secretly during class-  albeit at level 1000 times better than the childish doodles and cartoons that I did.

How crazy is that? Can you believe it?

(my job is to make weird shit and I also teach other people to make weird shit like me)

Whereas in the past, I might have been punished by being told to stand in a corner with a textbook balanced on my head, these days, I get paid, and I get paid pretty well to do this.

People has always wondered how I could get up at 5 am in the morning 3 times a week to go to the gym. Well, its easy if you can’t wait for the day to begin because you simply love what you’re doing. Sometimes life is just grand.