I Just Live Here.

 

In a few more days, it will national day again. Full of sights and sounds signifying nothing. Tele-presenters will be presenting the parade in a hyperventilated state- hoping to whip up love for the nation into a feverish fervour. There will be song, there will be dance and there will be pomp and pageantry. Still it means nothing to me. I am happy only because its a holiday and one don’t have to work. Other than that it means nothing, I just live here.

Its been a long time since national day holds any sort of special meaning for me. So long I don’t even remember what those feelings were and what they meant to me. These days, I suppose I am singaporean because I like food, I speak flawless singlish and I complain to no end- other than that, I just live here.

This year, the parade will be held in the world’s largest floating platform down at the marina since the National Stadium fell victim to the relentless bulldozer of economic progress. Nobody stands in the way of economic progress and modernization in singapore. Not even a stadium that seats 55,000 and gave birth to the Kallang Roar. Eventually they all meet their fate at the jaws of the bulldozer. The old National Library, the former National Theatre, one by one they all fall down and the roots dry just a little. All those things which meant so much and hold so much memories, gone forever and I realise this is only home because I just happen to live here.

 
photo courtesy of http://flickr.com/photos/acroamatic/

A while ago, a magnificent angsana tree who has been here longer than most of us were felled to make way for traffic. Drivers couldn’t be bothered to slow down, so it has to chopped down for their safety. Afterall singapore is booming these days and everybody is rushing to get second helpings from the gravy train. Money and progress is all that matters, the rest is just getting in the way. Just like how the old National Library was getting in the way and has to be flattened- all in the name of progress an modernization. I supposed I should be grateful because I happen to live here.

Everything is up up and away these days. Cost of living, rents, GST, medical care and even NETS charges. But things are looking so rosy people don’t even pay much attention to them anymore. Afterall salaries and opportunities are rosier than ever. If you’re a young graduate or a professional, I guess life couldn’ be better. You know life is good when transport fares is going up and it hardly register a blip. Just a drop in the ocean, meanwhile get on the train and ride that train of economic progress. Better you’d be on the train than getting left behind or worse- be deemed to be standing in the way.

Yes, there will always be those not so fortunate to have their tickets punched. These unfortunates will be left to scrabble for whatever pass for a decent life on $500 a month cleaning tables, toilets and offices. The train goes by so fast we don’t pay them much attention anymore. Everything’s a blur on a speeding train. I guess for those able to luck onto one of these jobs, it will still be better than being old and destitute living on $290 a month, courtesy of Vivian’s boundless generosity. Hell, they are lucky they are not getting bulldozed for getting in the way, though they might eventually be shoved off to some retiree’s village this time courtesy of Khaw’s boundless kindness. Nothing is scared anymore- not memories, monuments, people or the social contract between the leaders and the people. Only money matters. What money we can pay them and what money we can bring in. Hard to feel any sense of belonging or rootedness anymore.

I suppose this is what being singaporean and national day has come to these days for me- it just means I live here that’s all.