When Graciousness Gets Left Behind
For once in my life, I agree with our MM Lee. He won’t be seeing a gracious singaporean society in his lifetime. I, probably will not be seeing a gracious singaporean society in my lifetime. Its a sad realisation knowing that things will get worse before they even get better- if at all.
We live in a pressure cooked society that only gets worse with every passing year. Nobody has the time or inclination to be gracious anymore. Who has it when all your time and energy is spent just trying to survive and keep your head above water.
Its no secret that our government is deathly afraid of being left behind in the global ratrace of nations. China and India is always a looming threat that threatens to engulf our tiny nation. So when it comes to national policies, the government would rather err on the side of caution than take any risk- real or imagined that threatens the survival of singapore. We will be seeing some form of compulsory retirement annuity and means testing for public healthcare pretty soon- all because the government fears the possiblity of being saddled with massive healthcare and welfare bills in the coming future, nevermind if the burden is shifted to us who are already struggling to cope.
The survival of the state has always trumped that of the individual. Always has and always will be. Its singapore and we can’t afford to be left behind.
To be gracious requires nothing but your time and the desire to put the interest of someone else above yours and lets’ face it, its just not ingrained in our society. Nobody will give up their seats to the old and pregnant. Nobody will hold the door open for you and nobody will spend more than 2 seconds waiting for you to do whatever you do without getting an annoyed look on their face. I’ll be honest, I myself is guilty of this sometimes. A guy taking just a little more time on the ATM or a couple that takes 10 minutes to decide what they want for lunch infront of the McDonald’s counter will raise my blood pressure.
Its like we are all on a perpertual need to go somewhere, be at someplace to do something, to be not left behind that we just can’t stop to take timeouts. Like it or not, we have become a sad reflection of our government and society. Subconsciously, we are all afraid of also getting left behind.
Its ingrained into our society because the very day we first step into the public education system, the threat and fear of being left behind is relentlessly hammered into our subconscious. Children hardly old enough to know the consequences are streamed as soon as they are old enough to take a test. Smart kids will be grouped together because we can’t afford for them to be left behind- burdened by the slower learning abilities of their less gifted brethren. Meanwhile, anyone deemed not worthy through the use standardized tests will soon learn that the punishment for not working hard enough, for not being smart enough or rich enough is that they will be left behind.
Schools don’t want to be left behind either. Principals don’t want to be left behind. So kids are battered and demoralized all in the name of improving school rankings, raising pass rates and meeting key performance indicators. Less bonus means less money means getting left behind.
Why do you think singaporeans have this obsession with joining queues. Its herd mentality. Safety in numbers. Nevermind if what you’re queuing for is stupid or inane. As long as you’re part of the queue, you are not the one left behind.
Remember the whole McDonald’s/ Hello Kitty episode.
Singaporeans will even queue for 25 minutes for a bowl of fishhead beehoon that really doesn’t taste all that much better than any other fishhead beehoon that don’t require you to queue for 25 minutes. Herd mentality
The fear of being left behind has been carved into the national psyche. From top to bottom, its an unrelenting race to get ahead and not get left behind. Living on this tiny island, its even more acute as we jossled cheek to jowl, fighting for every scrap of space and resource, just so we can put a little distance between us and our nearest competitor. If we’re ahead, its must mean he is behind- left behind. And in this fight to not get left behind pehaps what really ultimately gets left behind is our graciousness and our humanity.
7 Comments so far
Fully agreed with your points. We grew up under a system where even the leaders of the country are not leading as a good example of serving the nation wholeheartedly. How can the nation be gracious when the leaders are not showing selflessness. (They demanded high pay for themselves in order not to be left behind, even when their pay is not low to begin with).
Fully agreed with your points. We grew up under a system where even the leaders of the country are not leading as a good example of serving the nation wholeheartedly. How can the nation be gracious when the leaders are not showing selflessness. They demanded high pay for themselves in order not to be left behind, even when their pay is not low to begin with, remember?
The problem is graciousness cannot be quantified. Unlike GDP, KPI and all the other measures of growth that we depend on.
[...] Daily Discourse – The Online Citizen: Have we lost our audacity to hope? – the boy who knew too much: All quiet on the Blogosphere front – Singapore Life and Times: Archive or Not – My Way: The Gah-Men Thinks We Are Stupid – Siew Kum Hong: WPQ 23 October 2007: Net Investment Income – Random Rants: Western Media – The Panacea? – introspective: Strawberry Generation- true or false? – EconLog: Singapore: The Deal-Breaker – Wind in my Head: The Ostrich and the Turtle – The Online Citien: “The people look to us for leadership. Let us provide it.â€? – Dr Chee Soon Juan – Insane Polygons: When Graciousness Gets Left Behind [...]
I actually felt the MM Lee should have acknowledged that the government he helmed over the past decades had a significant role in Singapore not developing into a gracious society.
Okay, so under the Brits, the colony of Singapore was just a place for migrants from around Asia to work hard and send money back to their native land. We can blame them then when Singaporeans suddenly found themselves to be citizens of a new country.
But over the years, what have they done?
Unimaginative courtesy campaigns that focussed on the form instead of the substance.
Policies and procedures implemented in government departments that focussed not on people but on paperwork, targets, goals and what have you not.
I’m the kind to bite the hand that fed me, and I readily admit that I was fed by the system that provided a growing economy, marketable education and security.
But I also believe in honesty – admitting to ourselves that Singapore got to be where it is today by paying no proper attention to graciousness.
There’s no point in the leaders wanting to a gracious nation if they are not willing to lead by example, or are willing to concede that there is a “price” to cultivating graciousness – lower demands on precision, timeliness, “follow the rule to the letter”.
Great things can still be done by being gracious, but they’re done in a different way.
Not the Singaporean way.
Hi, you have made several interesting points. Is there a contact email that I can email to you my questions?
There is much criticism on the failing courtesy campaign and so forth. Anybody has any idea as to how we can improve our graciousness as a nation then?